Christmas Time's a Comin' and I know I'm Going Home

This is truly a season of joy.  I love Christmas.  I love the tree and the lights.  I love cookies and candy.  I love Christmas songs on the radio.  I love watching cheesy Christmas movies.  Most of all I love that at this time of year people seem to be more willing to openly talk about Jesus.  It seems like people are more accepting of the idea that a little baby came to save us when there are lights and decorations commemorating the day.

My emotions run so high this time of year.  I get so excited about the goings on and at the same time I feel so deeply about the events that have preceded us.  In my own life I mourn the losses that have occurred during this time of year.  I laugh and cry at the memories of chatting with my Grandmama at Christmastime.  She had the best Christmas tree because she let us throw those shiny icicles all over it and make a huge mess.  She always had the best snacks at her house.  She made Chex mix or Trash as she called it every year and she always had those hard Christmas candies in dishes laying around the living room.  She made this delicious orange cake that I guess everyone but me hated.  It was so good!  I miss her this time of year, but I also rejoice for her because I know that Jesus was born to save her and give her eternal life with him.  I'm thankful for that in the same breath that I'm sad that she's not here anymore.

I am still emotional about the baby I lost right after Christmas a couple of years ago.  It was such an exciting Christmas that year feeling a baby grow and thinking about the next Christmas when we would have another little one.  I am so thankful to God for the sweet baby girl he blessed us with this year, but I miss the baby we never got to meet.

I also have such strong emotions about the first Christmas.  Now that I have children the idea of God sending his son for us is almost more than I can handle.  Seeing my own new baby makes me think about the face of the baby that would eventually die for me.  A sweet baby was born and lived a perfect life only to be ridiculed, tormented and killed because I can't live the life God wants me to live without that sacrifice.  My heart hurts for my Father in heaven because He had to sacrifice His son and at the same time my heart is full of joy because my Father in heaven loves me more than I can even imagine or contemplate.

This is truly a season of joy because Christ came and I know I'm going home someday to be with my Grandmama, my beautiful babies I have yet to meet and most importantly my sweet Jesus.