Stay-at-Home Loser

Yesterday I spent two hours cooking and cleaning only to have to throw out all of my work.  I don't even know if I can tell this story yet, but here goes.  I started making chicken and rice soup.  I had already started cooking the vegetables and was adding the stock when a huge glob of what looked like snot fell in the pot. I fished it out and it made me gag.  I had to throw the whole pot out.  Then I had mixed up and kneaded a bread dough that never rose!  I cooked it anyway and it was ridiculously bad.  I threw it out too.

I was looking on Facebook as I'm prone to do and I noticed a few of my friends were fans of this "A Wise Woman Builds Her House."  So, I had to check it out.  Well, it's about women who work from home and help their husbands with the money making.  I, of course, have no work from home skills and am very insecure about this fact.  At least once or twice a year I try to come up with ideas to help out with the family income.  I got nothin' I tell ya, nothin'.  If you have any ideas of how I can become a little less losery let me know.  I know losery is not a word, but I'm a loser, what do I know?

Stay-at-home loser, signing off.

Thoughts

I don't think green tea really suppresses your appetite.  I've been eating sweets all day and drinking green tea to go along with them.  I feel like my body isn't getting the point.  Maybe it's my mind that isn't getting the point, but that's nothing new.

I'm always itchy after I sweat, but instead of taking a shower I torture myself by being lazy and sitting in front of this computer.

I've decided that the green I picked out years ago for one of the paint colors in my room is really ugly.  I don't know why I ever liked it.  Don't tell Kyle.  I'm pretty sure that after making him paint those ridiculous stripes on the wall he is going to cut the wall out of this house and take it to the next one.

Do you know that you cannot buy a baby book for less than $13.99?  I still haven't bought Ilsa a baby book because I don't want to spend that much money on something I'll write in a couple of times.  I have to buy one though because the other kids have one and I refuse to give that up on the third child.  What if I have a fourth?  Am I going to decide not to clothe it or buy it diapers because it's just too much money and we've already spent that money three times?

I can't believe I just wasted this time writing on this blog that no one reads when I should have been taking a shower.  Now the baby is awake and I'm itchy!

3 Things That Made Me Cry Last Night

1.  After visiting my parents for a week I realize that I want to stay with them all the time.  I want to be just like I was as a kid and have them do my laundry and make me meals and talk to me until bedtime.  The only change I want is for my husband and kids to be there and for my parents to take care of all of us.  That sounds reasonable and rational, right?

2.  My teeny tiny baby slept in her own room last night for the first time.  I can already see her packing up and going to college.  Her life is flashing before my eyes.  I know she's three months old, but she's growing up too fast!  And, yes, she's three months old and just now getting in her own room.  I'm a little over protective, so what of it?!

3.  My hair is still totally out of control and I cannot figure out a way to make it look good without using a hair dryer, straightener or curling iron.  I really don't want to have to break down and spend more than thirty seconds on my hair.  Help!

Today, one of the children informed me that she was misbehaving because she was just tired.  What do I do with this?  How many times have I, as a parent, tried to reason away my child's behavior because they didn't get a good nap or went to bed too late?  I know I'm totally fooling myself in this logic, but now the children are trying to fool me as well?  I'm not naming any names here, but I'll give you a hint.  She's sassy, cute as a button and red headed.  Bet ya can't guess who!

Today at the park we heard the high school marching band playing "Hey Jude."  I thought this was kind of a weird marching band song.  Who's with me?  Is it performed much in the marching band realm?  Is it like "Your Song" for show choirs?  I'm not sure.  Either way, I couldn't help but walk a little faster when the drum line started playing the fast, jazzy version of the chorus.  How does "Hey Jude" have a fast, jazzy chorus you ask?  I'm not sure, but they were definitely playing it that way and it was a little bit of a toe tapper if I do say so myself.

Mickey Mouse Party!

Mickey and Minnie together forever.

Take a whack at Ouiser!

"Yes, I have frosting up my nose and I like it!"

Aevie seriously said, "I can't believe I really got a lunch box!"

"How can I eat all the icing off of this and not bite in to any cake?"

Why is it so hard for me to throw away old, stretched out underwear?  I mean, it's not just hard for me to throw out my own old underwear, but my kids' and Kyle's.

As I was folding laundry this morning I decided I just had to get rid of a few pairs of underwear.  I found a pair of Kyle's with holes in them and then rethought throwing them out because what if they were his favorite pair?  What if he totally ran out one day and that old pair with all the holes in them was somehow stuck at the back of the drawer and he found them and they saved him from some embarrassing situation?

Next I found an old pair of mine that I've been meaning to throw out but have found excuses to keep.  My mother pointed out on her last visit that some of my unmentionables have gone through three pregnancies now and they've seen better days.  Yes, my mother was doing my laundry.  I had just had a baby afterall, and I take advantage when I can, and she's my mother.  There is something oddly comforting about my mother folding my panties, as she calls them (although, it sounds more like pannies when she says it).

The last pair of underwear I saw that I knew needed to be thrown out was my five year old's training pants.  he hates this pair of underwear and they look very babyish, but I have kept them because he's still my baby and I don't want him to be old enough to throw out training pants.  Don't get me wrong, I love that he is trained in the ways of the potty and that he is way too old to worry about training pants, but those Spiderman under roos are just another reminder of my baby growing up.

As I looked at these three pair of old, ragged, well used underwear, I noticed something.  They were all blue.  I took it as a sad sign.  I threw them all out.  At least they are together.

3 Things That kept me Awake Last Night

1.  Day 1 of kindergarten homeschooling tomorrow.  I'm already tired, confused and worried that I'm ruining my kids.

2.  My hair is a wavy, frizzy mess.  I'm too lazy to dry and straighten it though.  How am I going to fix my hair on a regular basis without putting in any effort?

3.  I can't think of a good place to hang my calendar.  I want it in the kitchen and easily accessible to the kids.

I know, how sad is it that these are the things keeping me up at night?  Oh, my brain, what a messed up confused, minutiae filled thing.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes?

I surely hope not!  I woke up this morning from another crazy dream.  I dreamt that I was at a baby shower in the middle of an airport when I got in a fight with my huband, who I was not married to in the dream.  So, I walked over to another chair and sat down.  The person in the chair next to me turned around and who should be sitting there, but the guy I had a crush on in third grade.  Let's call him Landon because I love that name and his real name isn't as cool.  So, Landon and I start talking and he is telling me about his wife and two little girls.  The first little girl had a cute name, but I can't remember it because the second little girl's name was so memorable.  He said they named her Gerald because they got lazy and couldn't come up with anything else.

Soon, his wife (let's call her Caroline because I love that name too and she never told me her name in the dream), came over and I introduced myself.  She was a lovely woman and very pretty.  Next her mother-in-law, Landon's mom, came over and I talked to her.  Caroline then started talking to her mother-in-law and then walked away for a minute.  As soon as Caroline left the MIL started talking badly about her to me.  Then when MIL left I noticed that Caroline was actually hiding in this cave looking place right beside us and had heard every bit of the conversation.  And, poor Caroline was crying! I felt so badly for her.  I talked to her for a bit to try and make her feel better.

All of a sudden I realized I was late for a class, so I hurried off to find the room where the class was taking place.  I new that I only needed to go up two floors in the elevator, but when I got up there it didn't look familiar so I went up another flight of stairs.  When I opened that door I was outside!

This is where the dream gets really weird.  I saw an older man walking down some stairs I was walking up.  He stopped and it looked like he was having a seizure, except he was standing up.  I kept asking if he was okay, but he didn't answer at first.  Then all of a sudden he stopped and said, "Oh don't worry, I was just having a little heart attack."  Of course I looked alarmed and he said, "What?  You've never seen anyone have a heart attack before?"  This guy started to freak me out, so I tried to go through the next door.  The weird guy then told me that the door just led to the parking garage.

By this time I was completely discouraged and just started running the way I had come.  The scene turned into a fairy tale looking world covered with stone steps that led nowhere.  Finally, to my relief, I woke up.

3 Things That Freak Me Out...

1.  I had a dream that my house was infested with bed bugs.  Has anyone else been completely taken over by fear of bed bugs because of all the recent cases in big cities?  No?  Just me?

2.  Beezy likes to talk to the baby while she's nursing.  He says things like, "You like to eat, don't you?" and "Hi Little, how are you today?"

3.  Every time I check out library books I can't help but wonder where they've been.  You know what I'm saying, I know you do.

Little Forever

My son, we call him Beezy, is the perfect little daddy.  He talks to my almost three month old daughter in a baby voice and hugs on her and tells me how to mother her.  He acts just like any other dad I know.  Am I right ladies?  The other day, he was talking to Shibby, (Don't ask where we come up with these names), and in his best baby talk voice, he said, "I wish you could stay little forever."  I could not agree more with this statement.  As I looked at my oldest baby saying that to my youngest baby I realized how I wished Beezy could stay little forever too.  If I could I would keep them all little and never let them leave the house.  Even as I write this and two out of the three children are crying I know that I would keep them all little forever.