Well, I knew I would do it and I did.  I rebelled against my own goal.  I'm undisciplined and lazy.  I have no excuses.  Oh wait, I do have excuses and here they are:

1.  My seven month old, Ilsa, does not sleep.
2.  The house is a mess.
3.  I like to watch internet TV when the kids are napping.
4.  Ilsa doesn't nap.
5.  I haven't done anything worthy of writing about lately.
6.  I don't know why I started a blog because I never do anything worth writing about.
7.  This seven reminded me that my seven month old does not sleep.
8.  And, oh yeah, did I mention that I have a baby that doesn"t sleep?

I've been too tired to have any reasonable thoughts in my head.  So, I haven't written on this blog in a while.  Kyle told me I need to write at least every other day whether it's something important, cute, nonsense or just the stream of crazy going on in my head.  I guess that's my goal now, but we'll see if it really happens.  I've never been one for goals.  Every time I give myself a rule or a goal I rebel against myself and do the opposite.  What can I say, I'm a rebel, a loner.  I don't have to watch the movie Dotty.  I've lived it...oh wait, what?

Last of the Christmas Posts

Some picture from Christmas I wanted to share....

This is the birthday banner the kids made for Jesus.  As explained to me, there is a Christmas tree and a Christmas train.  Isn't it sweet?

Here are the kids and cousins at Jesus' birthday party.  We had fun eating cupcakes and playing with the nativity set.

Our Christmas cookies!  The kids LOVE to decorate!  

Right before this picture was taken Lachlan told me, "This is the best supper I've ever had!"  You know I loved hearing that  from the ultimate complainer.  I had to take a picture to remember the moment.

Isn't this the best Christmas face?

So excited about the Light Saber!

Halloween?  Christmas?  What's going on?  Costumes from Santa!  Santa got great deals after Halloween this  year.

I made this stocking advent calendar this year.  I thought it worked out so well.  The kids loved taking the card out to see what fun Christmas thing we would be doing that night and they were always ready for their sticker or piece of candy.   

Lachlan's gingerbread house.

Aeven's gingerbread house.

The best we could do for a family picture this year.  I've seen worse.

I promise I won't speak of Christmas again....until next year!

I had an unfortunate allergic reaction last night...so weird.  It was totally out of the blue and must have been from the Christmas tree cake i ate that said "may contain some peanut blah blah blah"  but everything says that!  I was swollen until this afternoon!  I felt like such a loser.  my mama got so mad at me.  how was i to know that a lil ole Christmas tree cake would try to do me in?  I guess I really can't hang on to Christmas any longer.  maybe it's a sign that I need to move on.

Is it just me or does the house look really sad and plain without the Christmas decorations?  It feels so cold in the living room without the twinkly tree.  So depressing.  I really love Christmas decorations.  Everything seems happier with red and green decorations hanging around everywhere.  I'll be posting some more Christmas pictures before I get into accepting and then writing about the new year.  I'm just not ready to let Christmas go yet.  It is the most wonderful time of the year after all.

We made these cute gingerbread friends this year.  I had to make eggless, dairy free, ginger free gingerbread, but it worked!  

Aeven, Lachlan and Ilsa

Christmas Time's a Comin' and I know I'm Going Home

This is truly a season of joy.  I love Christmas.  I love the tree and the lights.  I love cookies and candy.  I love Christmas songs on the radio.  I love watching cheesy Christmas movies.  Most of all I love that at this time of year people seem to be more willing to openly talk about Jesus.  It seems like people are more accepting of the idea that a little baby came to save us when there are lights and decorations commemorating the day.

My emotions run so high this time of year.  I get so excited about the goings on and at the same time I feel so deeply about the events that have preceded us.  In my own life I mourn the losses that have occurred during this time of year.  I laugh and cry at the memories of chatting with my Grandmama at Christmastime.  She had the best Christmas tree because she let us throw those shiny icicles all over it and make a huge mess.  She always had the best snacks at her house.  She made Chex mix or Trash as she called it every year and she always had those hard Christmas candies in dishes laying around the living room.  She made this delicious orange cake that I guess everyone but me hated.  It was so good!  I miss her this time of year, but I also rejoice for her because I know that Jesus was born to save her and give her eternal life with him.  I'm thankful for that in the same breath that I'm sad that she's not here anymore.

I am still emotional about the baby I lost right after Christmas a couple of years ago.  It was such an exciting Christmas that year feeling a baby grow and thinking about the next Christmas when we would have another little one.  I am so thankful to God for the sweet baby girl he blessed us with this year, but I miss the baby we never got to meet.

I also have such strong emotions about the first Christmas.  Now that I have children the idea of God sending his son for us is almost more than I can handle.  Seeing my own new baby makes me think about the face of the baby that would eventually die for me.  A sweet baby was born and lived a perfect life only to be ridiculed, tormented and killed because I can't live the life God wants me to live without that sacrifice.  My heart hurts for my Father in heaven because He had to sacrifice His son and at the same time my heart is full of joy because my Father in heaven loves me more than I can even imagine or contemplate.

This is truly a season of joy because Christ came and I know I'm going home someday to be with my Grandmama, my beautiful babies I have yet to meet and most importantly my sweet Jesus.